The Power of Saracen Rue
by DeadWoman
Summary: was a one-shot, now a small three-chaptered (hopefully) series
1. The Power of Saracen Rue

"My friend." Erskine Ravel stared down at his best friend and fellow Dead Man as Saracen Rue lay, poisoned and dying.

"My boyfriend," Saracen replied. Ravel glared at him and Saracen sighed. "Jeez, lighten up, it's not like anyone's dying…oh wait." He smirked.

"You're so immature." Ravel snapped. Saracen rolled his eyes and started to reply.

"Ooh immature," he began before letting out a hacking cough, his insides burning. Saracen knew he was dying and he was bursting to tell someone his secret. "Listen, Erskine," he said, and thought of a funny joke. "I told myself I'd keep this secret to my grave...so this seems a fitting grave." By the look on Ravel's face, it wasn't funny. "I am going to tell you my power."

Ravel gasped. This was not to be taken lightly. He could hold this over Dexter's head forever. Of course it would make a fitting funeral speech. _I, Erskine Ravel, know Saracen's secret power. _Saracen leant forward and whispered into his ear before collapsing back onto his bed. Ravel clapped his hands in delight then remembered he was by his friend's side as he was DYING. The light of Saracen Rue was dying and Ravel hurt so bad (_**A/N hopefully everyone gets the Dying of the Light comment) **_

Three days later, Saracen stared at Ravel. He was seducing a very hot French girl in a bar, but he couldn't stop thinking about Ravel. Not in that way, you perverts, he giggled to himself. In the way that in his confusing haze as he was 'dying', did he tell Ravel his power? He said sorry to the nice French girl and made his way over to Ravel. "Hi." He said awkwardly. Ravel winked at him as Ghastly walked up to the French girl.

"I know, Saracen. I know your power."

"Oh crap."

"It's okay. It's awesome. We're real buddies now."

"Great."

"Ghastly's snogging your French girl."

"Ah, leave him. What else did I tell you? Tell me everything."


	2. Chapter 2 : Dead Men Missions

_This started out a one-shot but has continued. In the war, in Dead Men mission. please reviewThanks! _

**General POV**

"Bespoke, catch the goddamn ball this time!" Skulduggery yelled and started to throw the bomb to him. It reminded Ghastly of when they were teenagers playing catch and Ghastly always dropping it. He couldn't drop it this time; if he did then London would go up in flames. No pressure then.

The red bomb soared through the air and Ghastly held his hands out and closed his eyes. Miraculously, it hit his hands and he whooped, opening his eyes. There was a rock in his hands and Anton was holding the bomb.

"Hey! I had it!" Ghastly protested and dropped the rock. It landed with a thud and Saracen sighed.

"Ghastly please pick up the rock." he said.

"Why? It's a rock." Ghastly replied.

"That rock is a precious last one of it's kind magical animal called a Tirana and it is our back-up plan against Drydale and his followers." Saracen told him.

"Oh."

"Oh indeed." Erskine shook his head then looked at Saracen. "Wait, how did you know what it is? Even Skulduggery doesn't know that, we've been researching it for months while you were off gallivanting."

Saracen grinned knowingly. "I know things." Then frowned. "I wasn't gallivanting, I got shot in my leg. A big difference. For one, I couldn't gallivant. It hurt."

"Then you spent the last month with those nurses." Dexter smirked.

"He did what?" Anton growled. "He made me send him boxes of gifts because he was in a bacteria-ridden hostel, recovering while hiding from the enemy."

"It was bacteria-ridden!" Saracen said quickly at Anton's glare. "There was a spider in the bathtub."

"He stayed at a top hotel, made for royals, in Paris." Dexter added. Saracen glared at him.

"It had gone downhill."

"It no longer had a private study in each room. Just in Saracen's penthouse suite." Dexter nodded.

Skulduggery interrupted with a cough. "Anton and Erskine, disarm the bomb, please. Dexter and Saracen please find Larrikin and get him to stop wandering off. Ghastly, find the creature."

"The creature is a Tirana." Saracen informed Skulduggery.

"And what will you be doing, Pleasant?" came a raspy voice and they all whirled round to see Drydale glaring at them all. The other Dead Men walked off to follow their orders. Anton was thinking hard while Erskine poked the bomb. Dexter and Saracen went into an abandoned warehouse that stored alcohol. Ghastly kicked rocks on the ground, hoping one would move.

"I was going to find you but you walked right into my trap." the walking, talking skeleton said, happily. "You saved me so much energy."

Drydale was an African mage that sided with Mevolent in the war and had his own strange tribal followers that followed his every command (even murder and suicide). He wanted the Faceless Ones back to ruin the world and leave it in chaos and wreckage everywhere.

He also wanted to be a slave to them.

He was a strange little man.

"A trap?" Drydale said. "Your comrades have left you to rot in the dungeons of my castle."

"Uh, actually, we're in London and your castle is a little shack in Africa. Lord, what are your dungeons? Are the conditions there even more abysmal than the shack?" Skulduggery asked.

"It's not a shack!" Drydale whined. "Everyone says it's a shack and it's not! It's a house!"

"A relatively small house," Skulduggery said.

"Well, yes, but it is my house! House! Not an abysmal shack in the wastelands of Africa! And I have slaves! They clean and cook for me! Actually they make a gorgeous steak with-" Drydale glared at him. "You're making me talk. How? How are you making me talk? I don't normally discuss my food preferences with my arch enemy."

"I'm flattered that I'm your arch enemy."

"Where are your comrades now? Sneaking up behind me? About to shoot me? I'm not going to fall for this attack." Drydale spun round, hand in a fist. When he turned to Skulduggery again, he was scowling in humiliation. "Where are they?"

"Um, ones there." Skulduggery pointed to Ghastly. Ghastly had hold of a rock and was hitting it against the floor. He sensed them looking and glanced up.

"Skulduggery, none of the rocks are moving and amid the rubble they all look the same." he called.

Saracen and Dexter strolled out of the warehouse with Larrikin sheepishly following them. "It's that one, Bespoke," Saracen said and Ghastly grabbed the grey round rock, holding it to his ear.

"Ow it bit me!" he yelped and held his hand to his ear. "Blood!" his eyes widened.

"Where are the other two?" Drydale asked. Erskine stood up from behind the car.

"Here! And Anton's..." there was some brief noises and Erskine looked in pain then he managed to drag Anton up. "...here!" Anton was still clutching the bomb.

"Oh. Well. Where's Kenspeckle?" Drydale said suspiciously.

"He's in Ireland, he fell out with us because Saracen and Larrikin here broke his new machine when they were inebriated." Anton said.

"Oh."

"So if you'd kindly put on these shackles?" Skulduggery suggested and shook the metal shackles.

"No!" Drydale screeched and leapt forward to fight. Skulduggery sent him flying towards Dexter. Dexter punched him squarely across the jaw and sent him reeling into Saracen who headbutted him and then Ghastly hit him on the head with the Tirana. Drydale fell on the floor with a cry of pain.

"Ow! That hurt, you evil devils! You tried to kill me, Scarface!" Drydale moaned.

"I hit you with a little bittle animal, Drydale, not exactly hacking at your thick skull with an axe." Ghastly rolled his eyes and held up the Tirana. "Skulduggery, it's cute, can I keep him?"

"What would you call it?" Erskine petted the rock and smiled. "Aw."

"I think it's a girl." Larrikin said and looked at it. "Does it have any-" he blushed and glanced down at Drydale. "-the things I shouldn't really mention in present company since Drydale doesn't have one."

Dexter laughed and walked over to Ghastly. Saracen followed. Now five Dead Men were petting a rock and the remaining two were exchanging looks of irritation. Drydale rolled around on the floor.

"Men! Get it together! We are not naming the rock." Anton snapped as Skulduggery put shackles on Drydale and stuffed him in their car.

"It's not a rock, it's a Tirana." Ghastly protested.

"We're putting it away, since we no longer need it."

"I have a great rocky atmosphere at my house. It will feel right at home."

"It's going back to Romania."

"Why?"

"It lives there with it's," Anton sighed. "The Tirana is missing it's friends and as the last in it's species it needs to be with his friends, if not his family."

"We haven't agreed it is a boy yet." Saracen grumbled.

"I think it's a woman, we need a girl in the group." Dexter said. Ghastly walked away, stroking his Tirana.

"Like a young dark and sarcastic little thing who puts us all in line and falls in love with one of us." Larrikin suggested.

"I think she'd fall in love with me." Dexter said.

"No, Skulduggery. He's charismatic and interesting, what's not to love?" Saracen said.

Dexter lifted up his shirt and revealed his muscles. Saracen shrugged.

"Meh."

"Meh?"

"I know why you exercise so much, Mr I Fancy The Girl Who Goes Running In The Park Every Morning."

"How?" Dexter was blushing furiously.

Saracen tapped his nose.

"You're going to have to tell me your power some day." Dexter glared.

Saracen merely laughed and got into the car beside Drydale. He looked at Drydale as the other Dead Men got in and smiled. "I think I like him. He's got an odd beard. You're my new friend. I know you don't have many friends since your wife sleeps with them all."

Drydale mumbled angrily at him but then Anton knocked him unconscious with another punch.

...

**Conversations in the Car**

"I can't believe you closed your eyes while catching a bomb." Skulduggery.

"Yeah but it worked, didn't it? I caught it." Ghastly.

"You caught a rock." Anton.

"A Tirana. I miss her." Ghastly.

"Her?" Skulduggery.

"Yeah. We also predicted that a girl would join our group. A tall dark-haired one who would fall in love with you." Larrikin.

Ghastly frowned, something striking a memory. Of his mother. Telling him something. Saracen was grinning. Did Saracen know something?

"Saracen have you ever known something that hasn't happened yet?" Ghastly.

"Uh, no comment?" Saracen.

Ghastly shook his head. Saracen definitely knew something. Perhaps about Ghastly's mother's vision. About Skulduggery and a dark-haired girl fighting unimaginable evil. Perhaps they defeat Mevolent or Serpine or Vile or Vengeous in the end. Ghastly shook his head and sighed.

"Now, about that girl in the park," Dexter said to Saracen. "You think you could work your magic and know if she fancies me or not?"

"it doesn't work like that, Vex." saracen moaned. "Believe me that would be very convenient but..."

"But no then." Dexter sighed. "Never mind."

"Dexter?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to know what my power is?"

"Oh Lord, yes!"

"Will you do my cleaning and my paperwork for a month?"

"Yes! I promise!"

"Okay. Thanks." Saracen settled back into his seat and looked out the window. A moment passed as Dexter looked expectantly at him.

"Um, Saracen, your power?"

"What about it?"

"You were going to tell me?"

"I wasn't. I never said a word like that. I said do you want to know."

"You son of a..." Dexter said and he kept on speaking but Erskine had reached over and started honking the car horn at some women who were giggling together. "...and that's why I won't tell you about my girl."

Saracen grinned even more than before as Drydale gave a little groan. "Hey, Drydale, want to know my power?"

Drydale moaned.

"Good. Good. See, Dexter? Drydale's not being nosy. Even though he thinks Larrikin's eyes are very deep and he thinks that Larrikin's hand is very close to his thigh and that that's very arousing."

Larrikin squealed in alarm and moved away. Drydale yelped as he was stood on. Larrikin crouched on Ghastly's lap, squishing the Tirana in it's box.

"Oops." Ghastly poked the rock-like creature. "I think Tirana's dead?"

Skulduggery stopped the car, got out and walked off towards a library for some peace and quiet.

_I might do another about Saracen causing chaos with his power in the modern age. Review any suggestions. Also thinking of doing a Dead Men Mission - remember that mission - kind of fanfiction so review if you think that's a good idea or not or whatever..._


	3. Chapter 3

Saracen Rue was bored. He was bored. Bored. Bored. Waiting had never been his strong point and now, waiting outside the airport for his friends to arrive, he was bored.

They were late. An hour late. Maybe the plane had been delayed, although he hadn't read anything about it on the websites. More likely that someone (*cough* Dexter) had done something wrong. Maybe Anton looked like a security threat. If he simply _smiled _once in a while...

"Excuse me, are you Saracen Rue?" a woman asked him. Saracen looked up and saw a woman wearing the airport uniform.

"Yes. What have my friends done?" He sighed.

"Oh, it's nothing. They've just...lost their suitcases. We contacted the Irish airport but there has been no record of them ever being on the plane."

"Who? My friends or the suitcases?"

"The suitcases."

"Just my luck." Saracen grumbled. "Send 'em out. I'll provide them with clothes and stuff." He said.

"Thank you, sir." The woman said and spoke into her walkie-talkie. "Yes, they can come out."

A moment later, a sheepish looking Dexter, an annoyed looking Anton and a grinning Erskine came out of the airport. The woman looked at Saracen. "Are these your friends?"

"Yes." Saracen said.

"Well, thank you for being co-operative about all this. Most people yell."

"It's fine." Saracen said and she walked away. He was going to ask her for her phone number but he was given a huge hug. "Ah, Vex, get off me."

"Look at you! With your shorts and sandals and sunglasses! Blimey it's hot here isn't it? I mean I've been stuck in Norway for the past three months so it's even hotter!" Dexter Vex, adventurer, Dead Man and ladies' man, said with a grin. He was wearing bright purple shorts and a white T-shirt.

Erskine patted Saracen on the head. "Alright, Rue? You look good. Have you grown? The plane was a nightmare. Remind me not to buy plane food again."

"Grand Mage." Saracen said sarcastically. Then Anton stepped forward, glaring.

"Guess what, Rue?"

"What?"

"This idiot," Anton shoved Dexter slightly. "Didn't put our suitcases on the carousel thing. He said that he left them there so someone else could put them on."

"I was distracted!" Dexter explained.

"And what were you distracted by?" Anton asked.

"A hot selection of women on a bachelorette party. One of them winked at me, Anton!"

"That's the dream." Saracen agreed. "Anyway I'll provide y'all with clothes."

"See? This worked out perfectly." Erskine got into Saracen's Porsche. "Woo, nice car, shortie."

"Please don't embarrass me." Saracen said to him.

"We won't." Dexter promised but then he laughed. "Sorry."

"I swear _I _won't embarrass you, Rue." Anton said. Then he looked out the window. "I better not get a tan though."

Saracen took a deep breath. This was going to be a long 'lad's holiday'.

...

Two hours later, Saracen was lying, face down, on his bed while Dexter and Erskine pranced around in his clothes. "Erskine's enjoying this." he commented and grinned.

"Hey! How did you know?"

"How did I know you've always secretly aspired to be a model?" Saracen sat up and raised an eyebrow. Dexter laughed.

"Shut up." Erskine scowled. "That's mean."

"Not as mean as Rick Morean bullying you last month when he caught you posing in front of a mirror."

"I know your power, Rue. I can tell people." Erskine said. Saracen shut up. Dexter looked at Erskine.

"Please tell me."

"No can do."

"I'll torture you."

"Threatening a grand mage is illegal, Vex."

Dexter adjusted his waistcoat and coughed. "Ahem. Ravel, I know plenty of your secrets."

Saracen shook his head. "He doesn't. Anton, my friend, stop lingering out on the balcony with that flat lemonade hoping that we'll forget about dressing you." He called. Anton walked in, frowning.

"I don't see the point of dressing in your clothes. They will not fit."

"My personal stylist, Marabeth, ordered me clothes in your size in preparation for your visit. I knew you'd be dressed like a gloomy guts."

"This is just a casual dinner."

"Anton, you are in LA now. Dress wisely." Saracen said. "You never know, you might bump into the girl from the airport with the hot ass again. And that's a direct quote from you."

"I never told you that." Anton said. Saracen tapped his nose.

"But I know."

Dexter grinned. "You're awesome."

"I know."

...

An hour later, the foursome were wearing designer clothes and drinking beer in a restaurant. "Welcome to my life, guys." Saracen said and they all clinked beer bottles. "First one to down the bottle gets first dibs on a lucky lady."

Anton was the first one but he just scowled and said that he didn't want a lucky lady.

"A lucky lad then?" Erskine suggested and he got hit on his arm.

**31 minutes later...**

Anton had spilt cranberry sauce on his white pants, courtesy of Dexter bumping into him. "Idiot!" Anton hissed.

"What? Just replace them!" Dexter slurred slightly and gulped down another bottle of beer.

**14 minutes later...**

They were all at Saracen's personal stylist's shop and Marabeth was staring at Anton. "Hmm, Saracen, honey, you didn't tell me your friend was so hot."

"I am hot." Dexter said from the floor, where he and Erskine were sitting.

"She thinks you're a drunken pig." Saracen told Dexter. Dexter pouted and Erskine snorted. "So, new outfit for my friend here?"

"New outfit for all of you sweethearts!"

**1 hour later...**

"Saracen?"

The gang were lying on Saracen's rotating bed in the guest bedroom and staring at the ceiling.

"Yes, Dexter?"

"How do you know things?"

"I'm magic."

Dexter laughed slightly. It turned into a sob.

"What's up, Dex?" Erskine asked.

"I think it happened to me."

"What?" Anton said.

"An epiphany. He thinks he's had an epiphany." Saracen explained.

"Oh. What about?" Erskine said.

"I'm not sure. About life really. Maybe I should explore a bit, expand my horizons. Flirt a little."

"You already do." Anton said then curled up in a ball. "Goodnight."

"Night, Anton."

Within seconds, Anton was asleep and Saracen went to his room for a nap too, leaving Dexter and Erskine discussing the positives and negatives of intergalactic travel.


End file.
